Nothing stretches my gym workouts like another dude lifting weights. Every look inspires an extra biceps curl; I’ve moved from chest to back for a day to stay close to cruising.
I am not alone. Most of my gay friends who work out regularly express this sentiment, many of whom have had at least one gym crush. You know, that person’s fitness routine that you’ve been ingrained in memory most of the time and trying to replicate in your own schedule. When they go missing at 8:00 am on Tuesday, you will find yourself questioning where the hell they are!
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They usually only work out on Monday and Wednesday nights…
Until a new (and thus better) handsome stranger shows up.
Then into a pandemic (or two), people all over the world experience tragedy and sexuality like never before.With restrictions lifted, gyms reopened, and mask requirements lifted, we’re all scrambling to pay for our Hot summerNo wonder bidet company Tushy has launched a herd immunity countdown clock on CanIEatAssYet.com.Both liberal and conservative publications agree with the global blue-ball crisis, such as New York PostThe article “New York Singles Prepare for ‘Summer of Slutty’ Casual Sex.” Yes, that’s Rupert Murdoch’s bad tabloid.
I also went through a messy breakup with the boyfriend I live with—another negative impact Covid-19 has had on countless couples. We agreed to stay away from these apps before moving out (suggestion he asked for), so I found myself exercising like never before. I find muscular men sweating, squatting and glancing at each other, a welcome escape from the passionless drought in my apartment – or should I say, my ex’s place, as he likes to remind Like mine.
But the isolation of the lockdown has graced my encounters at the gym. It’s not like I used to be in shower sex or locker room blowjob. I never even got a guy’s phone number, mostly because I was waiting for them to say hi first. But the idea that it could happen anytime fascinates me. Nothing is more ruthless than the fantasies and hopes of gay men. Unlike the reasons many of us find ourselves scrolling endlessly on Grindr. any minute nowYou’ll be thinking in 2 hours at 1am
But gym workouts are different because mutual attraction is all on our minds. It is impossible to get confirmation of a reply (or no reply). It could be a fiery desire for return or wishful thinking; I’ve never found cojones. I mean, imagine using Grindr with your audience! This is what makes modern gym cruising the best and worst thing ever; for most people at least, internet culture has made it not worth the risk of rejection to meet someone in person. Not to mention the cock-blocking device of the AirPods.
Also, when was the last time someone offered you a drink at a bar or approached you on the street? I often come across a notorious online message from someone I’ve seen in person, letting me know they saw me too. lame. When it’s done offline, it’s usually done with an interconnected introduction, or when you both find yourself randomly empowered by Liquid Courage in a bar.
However, I still find the feeling of cruising in the gym exhilarating. I like the idea that someone within a few feet might crave me as much as I do them. After all, it’s a nice change of pace compared to the instant repetitive gratification of gay hookup culture. When the norm is to ask “tops, bottoms, or verses” before someone’s name, it’s no wonder that the timeless teasers of gym cruises feel so captivating.
Perhaps, others out there are preventing anyone from taking the first step. once. But while the fantasy may never happen, your body will at least be ready for summer.