Dear Annie: My wife and I got married four and a half years ago and this is our second marriage. I have had dogs almost my entire life. My wife realized this. I married three dogs and my wife knows their habits very well. She loves dogs but not as much as I do because they shed and our Boston terrier sometimes urinates inside the house making it hard to keep the carpets clean.
Two of our puppies are 10; the other is 11. We could lose all of that in a few years. My wife declared that when our dogs were all gone, she didn’t want any other dogs. This is devastating to me. She was cool with my compromise suggestion that we have two dogs, but neither would be a breed that would shed a lot of hair.
I don’t know how we’re going to solve this impasse, it’s been a pain in the ass until we face this. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. – dog lovers
Dear dog lovers: When someone says they don’t like dogs, they probably mean they don’t like the mess they make, the training they need, and the money they cost. By suggesting a dog breed that won’t shed, you’re halfway there. Next, assure your wife that you’ll be in charge of all dog-related chores—and follow through.
Dear Annie: My 22 year old nephew is an only child who lives with his parents and has never lived alone. He dropped out of college and never had a job for more than a few weeks. He had no interest in learning to drive, and his parents drove him to activities he hoped to attend. His parents pay for his entertainment, and they treat him to expensive dinners at least once a week. He has no household chores or responsibilities, nor does he need to pay rent or otherwise earn a living. His parents didn’t seem interested in pushing him to grow up, and I was worried about his future.
His parents gave birth to him later in life, and I was worried about what would happen to him after they left. He has no skills, no discipline at all. When I mentioned my concerns to his parents, they just shrugged and said they didn’t want to force him to do anything he didn’t want to do. Is there anything I can do to help this young man? I am really worried about him. – worried
Dear Concern: Try spending more time with your nephew to see what career paths might make sense for him. Does he have a passion or some kind of skill? Remind him that work isn’t just a way to pay the bills; it can provide satisfaction and boost self-esteem.
You care about him well – it shows you are a kind person – but remember that you are not his parents and you can’t stop his parents from supporting him. Anyway, he will learn how to make it himself. But he may end up learning the hard way.
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“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation — is available in paperback and ebook format. Visit Creators Publishing to learn more. Send your questions about Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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